


I'm His Wife

by crueltyland



Series: My FemJohn Fics [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Female John Watson, Married Sex, Pre afghanistan, blushing Mycroft, married people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crueltyland/pseuds/crueltyland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lestrade stared.<br/>He stood, shoulder to shoulder with Anderson and Donovan, and stared.<br/>The single most shocking thing he had ever come to witness in his life had just occurred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm His Wife

**Author's Note:**

> I have read a few similar stories, but none with Fem!John, so here you go, i hope you like! :)  
> also, mentions of sexy times, but nothing graphic :)

“Brother, I think-”  
“Lestrade! This is a crime scene! Since when do you let the riff-raff in?” Sherlock said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.  
The detective sighed, “Sherlock, he said he had urgent news. Just listen-”  
“Brother, I think you should come with me.”  
Sherlock’s face stilled, his large eyes focused on absorbing every minute detail of his brothers face.  
“N- no, Mycroft. No, what, what happened? No, No! Don’t you touch me!” he said, pushing Mycroft's hand off his arm and flinching away, wild eyed.  
Lestrade watched as the unusual brothers walked quickly down the stairs and out of the building.  
As they reached the door, the officers attending collectively parted, allowing Sherlock to run from his brothers side to the ominous looking black car. Where he proceeded to lift a small, blonde woman and swing her around, grinning.  
Donovan stared, in repulsed fascination, as Sherlock Holmes, self professed sociopath, proceeded to press the woman up against the side of the car, her legs wrapping around his waist.  
Anderson physically flinched and made an undignified gasp as they caught sight of the genius' eyes fluttering closed as he leant down and closed the gap between his lips and her own.  
Lestrade just stared at the pair, whose rocking hips and moans were making his trousers uncomfortably tight.  
Mycroft cleared his throat, “Sherlock, a little discretion.”  
The younger brother turned, flushed cheeks and red lipped, and swallowed, “Yes, of course.”  
The team were shocked to watch the little female grin, bite Sherlock’s ear lobe and whisper something that made his eyes go wide.  
Really they should have expected them to enter the back of the car, slam the door shut and have the driver move the car to a delivery alley a few metres away.  
And then evict the driver.  
Mycroft groaned, raising one elegant hand to rub at the crease forming in his brow.  
“Mister Holmes? Mister Holmes requested-” the driver began.  
Mycroft let out an explosive sigh as the car began rhythmically bouncing, a disturbing occurrence only influenced further by the low growling and high moaning sounds from within.  
“Of course he did. Jeremy, if you could, please call for a new car?”  
Lestrade found his feet frozen, glued to the spot as the usually unflappable government worker looked to the sky and then took a deep breath, attempting to retain his calm.  
“What is the freak doing?”  
Anderson scoffed, “I think its obvious. He has paid some woman to-”  
Mycroft turned on the forensics worker, “If you wish to retain your employment, I suggest you try to keep your ridiculous statements to yourself, Mister Anderson.”  
Mycroft cleared his throat, aiming a pointed look at the officers at the scene, who scurried back to their work.  
Lestrade awkwardly told the others to go back to work, as Mycroft walked to a nearby police car and sat inside the passenger seat, talking in a language no one around could understand.  
Almost an hour later, Lestrade watched as Sherlock and his friend exited the car, rumpled and, to his surprise, covered in bite marks.  
“Gary, where is my brother?”  
Lestrade gave him a half hearted glare, and watched with amusement as the forensic and investigatory teams all turned to stare.  
“Godfrey! What are you all-”  
The woman was pulled along as Sherlock twined his fingers in her own.  
“Ah, Sherlock. We, um-”  
The female covered her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh, before turning to the tall man, “I think that he was trying to not say that they were all saw us.”  
At the pinking of Mycroft's cheeks, Sherlock raised an eyebrow, “Intercourse is a normal human function. Why would they want to watch us?”  
Mycroft rolled his eyes, “Brother, I think introductions are in order.”  
The consulting detective solemnly nodded, “Yes, well: Lestrade, Donovan, Anderson, Various unnamed police and forensics officers, this is my John. John, these are the members staff of New Scotland Yard that I usually work with.”  
The woman, John apparently, smiled and gave a salute-wave, then turned to the lanky man, “I’m guessing you didn’t tell them?”  
“Of course not! I do this for a distraction. It would hardly work if they ask about you all the time.”  
She simply nodded and reached out a hand to shake Lestrade's, “Captain Joanna Watson, MD, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers. Nice to meet you, Gregory?” She looked to Mycroft who nodded.  
“Ah, yes. Nice to meet you too.”  
Anderson was the one to interrupt the awkward introductions, “Just who are you to the freak then?”  
The army captain turned to look at the man, her eyes narrowing into dangerous slits, “You compromised a crime scene?! That is a non-standard issue cotton poly blend suit. Why would you do that?”  
Sherlock made a sound of surprise and she just sighed, “Of course you wouldn’t know, but surely you both noticed that his looks different to the ones everyone else is wearing? Why would you not recognise forensics equipment?”  
He pouted, glaring at Anderson, who stuttered and looked at Lestrade.  
The DI frowned at Anderson, “Is that true?”  
He nodded, looking at the woman, then the inspector.  
“For gods sake! You are dismissed. Leave a sample of the suit and hope that you have not made another stupid error that costs us a conviction. Thank you Miss Watson.”  
She smiled at him brightly, then turned to the embarrassed man, “To answer your question, I'm his wife. Oh! And if I ever hear you call him a 'freak' again? Prison will be where you wish you could be.”  
Lestrade choked on a laugh as Sally blinked and Anderson just continued his mumbled tirade.  
Turning to Mycroft, he raised his eyebrows.  
The senior man sighed, watching as his brother and sister in law climbed into the car they had previously used, “Yes, John is quite the catch, isn’t she?”  
Greg laughed, “She’s something, yeah.”  
As the government official climbed into a new car, he turned with a small smile, “Oh, and she meant what she said – she is frankly terrifying when protecting my brother. I do hope you enjoy working with her!”  
Before Lestrade could process that information, the door had closed and he had been driven away.  
Anderson whimpered.


End file.
